4 months old

Wow! I can't believe my lovely, happy girl is a third of a year old! What a milestone. She's really become her own little person with so much to say, and so much she wants to do!

Grace and I have been taking a lot of car trips out this month because there's been much Christmas shopping to do! She loves to be worn in te Ergo. Such a great invention. I have my hands free and she feels safe and secure against my chest. She can also look around at things all she wants. I get a lot of comments from stangers when I carry her this way. Mostly people make remarks about how cozy and snuggly she looks. I did have one gentleman say "she's so small! Was she premature?" um, no. I told her she was 4 months old. But yes, she is tiny. Still wearing mostly 0-3 month clothing. That's ok! Her big personality than makes up for her size!

Hanging out with Nana (my mom) during her recent visit. They love each other!

Grace is now rolling front to back with ease and can aallllllmost get from her back to her front. She practices this skill constanty.

Working on rolling during "tummy time"


Unfortunately, Grace's dad is a Mets fan! He's setting her up for a lifetime of disappointment!



Blurry but cute shot with Daddy


All ready for the Christmas get together at Great-Grandma's house!



We're best buddies :)

Happy 4th Monthday, my beautiful, sweet, funny, wonderful daughter! I love you more than you'll ever know.

Exactly 1 Year Ago Today...

My whole life changed. I received the wonderful and unexpected news that our second fresh IVF cycle had worked. I was pregnant. Complete and utter shock and delight do not begin to describe it. It's the best phone call I've ever received.
You see, I'd taken a pregnancy test two days prior and it was negative. Mr. E and I were crushed. We "knew" it hadn't worked. We had come to the frightening realization that we may never be able to have children. When the nurse called that day with the results I said "I already know it's negative, so please just call me back and leave a message with instructions about stopping meds and next steps for another cycle." I wanted to be able to listen to the message with Mr. E so we could be sad together.
Later that afternoon when Mr. E called from work to check in on me he persuaded me to listen to the message. And so I did, and instantly started screaming in disbelief. I called him back and just said "It was positive. I can't believe it. It was POSITIVE!" and burst into tears :) Happy, happy tears. Mr. E couldn't believe it either. He was laughing and shouting for joy. After Grace's birthday and our wedding, it was the best day of our lives.
I then went and took another pregnancy test. For the first time in my life I saw TWO LINES!



it's light, but it's there!

And so that's the story of how these three little blastocysts




Became this miracle girl!



Life is good!

Baking Christmas cookies

Today Grace helped me bake some cut-out sugar cookies.





She's such a good helper <3

Christmas preparations!

I haven't been this excited for Christmas in such a long time! Having a daughter to share the joy and excitement with makes it a whole new experience.

Last weekend we got our Christmas tree, and Grace had her first tree-trimming experience :)

Normally we'd trek to the Christmas tree farm but since we have a nearly 4 month old, we sent Mr. E to to the pre-cut tree place instead.



Good job, Dad!




Gil checks out the tree.

Much to my our amazement, we were able to get the tree moved into the house and into it's stand, all without G waking up from her nap. As a new parent, it's the little things that thrill you.

Grace wasn't quite sure what to make of the ornaments, but she sure liked looking at all the pretty, twinkling lights!







Decorating with my girl. Making a weird face.

I also began the tradition of giving Grace a special ornament each Christmas. My mom used to do this for my bother and me, and I always loved it. She'll get her ornament on Christmas morning. It's an old-fashioned mercury glass Santa.



Wearing some gingerbread pants from Nana :)



Big blue eyes.



Our stockings, hung by the chimney with care. Mr. E's flanks the other side of the fireplace.



All ready for Christmas!

Sleep is overrated

As I type this post, this is what I see when I look down. A little girl sleeping peacefully on my lap after a long night of waking up every hour. While Grace has never been a great sleeper (her longest stretch to date was 4 hours and she only did it a few times) we reached a new low this week when we tried to transition her from a swaddle sleep sack to a regular sleep sack.



Summer brand fleece sleep sack - what we've been trying to transition to.


G in her Halo brand fleece sleep sack with built-in swaddler.

The issue we're running into is that G's Moro Reflex is still strong and her flailing arms wake her up. We tried lying her on her back, sides, and even tummy, since we have an Angelcare monitor. Nothing has worked.

I hear that there are children her age and younger who are able to sleep through the night. Who are these kids and what are their parents doing differently, I wonder? I think the key element we're missing here is the ability to self-soothe. Since birth I've been nursing Grace to sleep, and then back to sleep web she wakens in the night. I believed, and still do, that this is the right thing to do for a baby her age. She's little and I want her to know her mom is there to comfort her. Recently I've been getting some pressure from my mom and others to begin "Ferberizing" (aka the "cry it out method") her ASAP, but frankly I'm not comfortable taking this approach until she's at least 6 months old. Actually, I'm not really sure how much I agree with the method at all. Several experts, including Dr. Sears, are strobly against the Ferber method of sleep training.

I think I need to read up more on this subject before I make my next move. For now I'm just going to have to tough it out and be thankful Mr. E gets up early on the weekends with Miss No Sleep so I can get some much-needed shut eye.